Some people in this world say they have those moments when their life just turns around...for some it's a specific event, for others a whole day, and sometimes even the entrance of a new person into their life. Well, I like to think of my life as being made up of a series of events and people who have helped me awaken...awaken to the potential within me, the potential of others, and the potential for beauty in the world. The past week has been the most significant one so far in that process of awakening.
I was asked by a new and wonderful friend of mine to attend a women-only talk by a Rebecca Martell, a member of Waterhen First Nation. She is known across the country for her work with victims of Fetal Alcohol syndrome, but she was at Trent speaking to students about Native spirituality and was giving a talk on women's teachings. I was honored to have this opportunity to learn of a new culture. I wish I could share everything that she shared with us but 1) I wouldn't have space and 2) the nature of the wisdom shared is such that it only becomes applicable when one is in need of it, and I have yet to internalize it all.
However, I did want to first share how struck I was with the similarities between Native teachings about nature and African spirituality. Ms. Martell focused especially on the vast amount of knowledge that the elders had about the world surrounding them and how it enabled them to live in unity with nature. This knowledge is traditionally passed down orally through the generations, but because of various factors, external and internal (that I won't get into here since I am still trying to understand them), that passing down of knowledge has been interrupted, and we are no longer living in unity with nature.
A very similar problem is occurring in many African societies, where knowledge is traditionally passed through the generations and life is built around extended family in the village, but with urbanization and the creation of the "nuclear family", that knowledge is not being received by the younger generations...and this extends beyond interaction with nature, and goes so far as to affect moral behaviour.
The most striking example she gave us of this (and I will try not to go into too much detail for the men who are reading this) involved young girls and their menstruation. She recounted how girls had to throw the water in which they washed their menstruation cloth in a very specific place that was away from the river, and only in this place. Though she herself did not understand it at the time, nor understand why the place where the girls threw the water was full of flowers, she later learned how powerful the estrogen hormone is. It is now quite common knowledge that the increased presence of estrogen (because of increased use of birth control and added hormones in our food) in our water supplies, being dumped back into rivers is causing deformities in fish and causing girls to develop at a much earlier age. Had her ancestors done scientific research to learn this? No, she stated clearly, it was simply part of the unity and understanding they had for nature.
Of course, because this was a women's circle, we had to discuss relationships and parenting. Here is what we learned:
- If you want to know whether or not you have found a good man, get invited back to his home and see how he treats his mother. Does he walk through the door and give her a big hug? Or does he plop himself down on the couch and ask what's for dinner? Because that will be your greeting for the next 40 years (I'm happy to say I already knew that one!)
- Strive to make your mother-in-law your best friend. Respect her and she will respect you.
- A daughter is born in the image of her mother (boy, is that one ever true for me!), and she will always look to her mother for an example; but a daughter turns to her father for affirmation of self. If the father is unaware of this, he can inadvertently cause his daughter to forever seek the approval of other men. In the same way that if a mother does not properly love her son, he will forever search out women who will mother him.
- When a boy reaches a certain age, and starts to push his mother's affection away, it is not because he does not love his mother, it is because he is establishing himself as an individual. If mothers let this happen, the son will come back to the mother feeling secure; but if the mother, out of her own need to be loved, pulls her son back in, she risks alienating him.
Ms. Martell concluded with a reminder of the power that we, as women, carry. We carry the blessing and duty of carrying on civilization, and to raise a child is the greatest accomplishment a woman can have in her name. It was beautiful to hear her expressing this with so much passion, in part because it is one of the fundamental teachings of the Baha'i Faith, but at the same time because the role of the mother is being increasingly forgotten in Western society - a tragedy that is already having tremendous social repercussions.
"Mothers are the first educators of children, who establish virtues in the child's inner nature. They encourage the child to acquire perfections and goodly manners, warn him against unbecoming qualities, and encourage him to show forth resolve, firmness, and endurance under hardship and to advance on the highroad to progress." -Abdu'l-Baha
Following this wonderful women's circle I spent the weekend at a conference focusing on rights of Indigenous people, during which I learned a great deal about a subject I am sad to say I was quite oblivious to.
The reason I started this post with the idea that I had experienced a life changing past few days is because of the amount I learned over the past few days. For the first time, I felt truly open-minded, in part because I was being exposed to subjects I know nothing about, but also because of this new and wonderful friend of mine, who has set a beautiful example for me in his open-mindedness and his desire to learn new things. This frame of mind enables a much greater enjoyment of life! It refreshes and inspires...and reminds us every day to be grateful for the chance to be alive, to serve, to love, to worship, and to grow.
Oh yes, I watched the sun set yesterday. If you haven't done that in a while...do it tonight. Bring a pen and piece of paper, and write down whatever you think of. You might be surprised.
Respectfully and lovingly,
Miquela
